Friday, 21 November 2008

Astonishing SEO Results

As an SEO specialist who essentially helps businesses make the most of their web presence, looking at their website in context and in the round I get really pissed off when I read 100% bullshit SEO sales patter.

I was lurking around a business forum the other day when an AdSense advert caught my eye. It's headline was "Totally Free SEO Services" with the sub text declaring "We Guarantee 1st Page Results Pay Nothing, No Contract, Try Today". So I clicked it. The page I was met with astonished me and annoyed me in equal measure.

Effectively what's being offered is a free page one ranking for a FIVE word 'keyword', whatever the fuck that is. They create the 'keyword' themselves based on some random keywords provided by the people using the service.

So let's recap. These clowns will take your keyword ideas and create a 5 word key phrase and get you to the top of Google for the phrase. This is so piss poor it's laughable, but it gets way better.

The page selling this trash has a video on it that's so astonishingly piss poor that it's hard to believe anyone would fall for it, but I'm sure they do. The video shows how these guys have blown away 12 million competing sites by ranking number one in Google for a phrase so abstract it's a joke. Say the guys who run the company are called John Smith and Billy Bunter, well their claim to fame is they are number one in Google for the phrase, wait for it 'John Smith & Billy Bunter'.

The video shows the guy entering the phrase and proudly declaring how they have got to number one in Google beating over 12 million other pages in just 20 days. They fail to recognise that by refining the search with some "" or intitle qualifiers they could have found they were only competing with a few hundred pages, many of which were trash anyway.

I can only hope that decent honest people don't fall for this crap and sign up once their amazing free trial is over. Just for the record;

  • Ranking in Google for phrases people don't use is meaningless
  • Ranking at number 1 for random 5 word phrases is meaningless
  • Ranking for phrases that don't convert into business is meaningless
  • Getting a random number 1 ranking is easy
  • STOP obsessing about ranking and create a better website

If anyone wants to see this amazing offer drop me a line and I'll point you at it, if it wasn't so evil it would be hilarious.



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